I learned a few years ago that just because I felt depressed or unmotivated, didn't mean I had to give into those feelings. For many years I had done just that, and I spent much time avoiding life, sleeping a lot, just not really getting anywhere. A friend inspired me to try to change. And so one day at a time, I began to ignore that urge to sit still. And I began to address my own special needs.
I learned that I can choose my attitude and I can usually choose the course of my day. Motivation can be illusive. I don't have to sit and wait for it to light on my shoulder. It's important to know that I can choose to have a full, interesting life. And each time I stretch a little to reach that place just outside my comfort zone, I am making an effort to expand my limits. And if I do it ten times, then suddenly it isn't impossible anymore, and my boundaries have changed forever. So I like to spend time thinking of how I want my life to be. And one day at a time I chip away at my wish list. I see life as a gift. It really is.
Those first attempts at change we're hard. But really, the hard part was the resistence I felt toward that change. Resistance is usually caused by fear. And the cure for most fear, is to face it. Once I took action it was ok. All else that was really needed was some repetition, to become perfectly comfortable with my new achievement. And I experience that now and then when I want to open a new door. But now I have the experience of success backing me up. So I know how this game is played. And that helps a lot to keep me moving forward.
I remember well, those seemingly endless days of emptiness. Of course I still experience tough times, but i don't tend to sit my way through them anymore. I can grieve and live at the same time, which feels a whole lot better.
